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You Should Be Done By Now

You should be done with that by now! Ever tell yourself that? Most of us do at one time or another. Sometimes it’s because we’ve been procrastinating. Or maybe we started something without the skills or information we really need to get it done.

How It Shows Up

I hear different versions of this from clients all the time. See if you recognize any of these real life scenarios as something you might do:

  • a coach was mad at himself for missing a networking event for the third month in a row
  • a consultant was annoyed because she hadn’t resolved details of her mother’s estate
  • a healing practitioner scolded herself for stalling on creating a separate business phone line
  • a teacher ridiculed himself for still being interested in his ex-wife’s dating activities

So here’s what happens when you have something like this going on. You can see a logical solution to the problem. Right? Something you can DO. And you keep trying to get yourself to do that thing. That’s what logic tells you is the answer.

Wrong! The root of the problem is an emotional one – not a logical one. So it needs to be addressed with an emotional tool. And EFT is perfect for that. Great! There’s hope for a solution.

Tapping Slow-Down

Once you’re tapping, this self-blame can slow you down. I know I’ve written about this anger at yourself before. But this “shouldn’t I be done” anger is in a special zone all its own. I see it again and again. It can create big resistance to releasing the core issue.

Sometimes the release is slow right from the beginning. But often, clients get off to a good start — their emotional intensity is dropping at a good rate. Then they stall out about halfway through the session. The culprit? This special flavor of self-blame.

Here are some subconscious forms it can take:

  • If I could get over this, I would have by now. I obviously can’t get over it, so I’m not going to release it.
  • I should be punished because this has gone on for so long, so hanging onto this issue is my punishment.
  • I put off getting help for this when I knew I needed it, so this is the price I have to pay – holding onto my problem.
  • I know logically what I should have done a long time ago. I didn’t do it, so I need to suffer.

What To Do

You can tap directly on the issue of blaming yourself for not being done yet. Or just work the phrasing into your setup statements. For example:

  • Even though I’m reluctant to let go of this divorce grief because I should be over it by now, I want to love myself anyway.
  • Even though I’m resistant to clearing any more of this networking fear because I should have taken care of it 3 months ago, I want to respect myself and accept my feelings.
  • Even though it feels impossible to clear this issue, and maybe I’ve gone as far as I deserve to because I’m a procrastinator, I want to love all parts of me anyway.

Let us know how this works for you — leave a comment below.


EFT – Resisting Letting Go

Sometimes when you tap you don’t make much progress with releasing your issue. There’s some inner resistance to letting go. In EFT jargon, the resistance is called a reversal or energy reversal. When you tap, the energy is not going in the direction you want (releasing), but is stuck in reverse (holding on).

What It Means

Resistance is not uncommon. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It really just means your system is doing a good job of protecting you.

Our body-minds are set up to do what it takes to maintain balance. Any change upsets the balance. Whatever ways you’ve managed to carry around that problem and still function has worked – to some degree. So your system says, “I’m not changing that. I’m not letting go. Better stick with what we know.”

Not A Surprise

Any issue we’ve had for more than a day or two likely has resistance attached to it. Not on a conscious level probably, but on a subconscious level. It’s a natural defense mechanism that kicks in so we can keep on functioning. Think about it: If you had no resistance to letting it go, you would have already let it go. Right? You wouldn’t even need to be doing EFT on the problem in the first place!

Don’t Fight It

Resisting resistance doesn’t help. You’ve already got a little tug-of-war going on. There’s a part of you that wants to let go. And another part that’s holding on. Don’t add a third part to the mix by being mad at yourself or feeling ashamed. Denying the resistance won’t help either. Your best choice is to relax – if you can – and accept the resistance.

What To Do About It

Use EFT to eliminate the resistance. There are a few different ways to do this. Try them out and see what works for you.

  • Stop tapping on your original issue. Treat your resistance as a separate issue and use EFT on it. Then come back to your original issue.
  • Work it into your setup statements like this: “Even though I have this (problem) and I’m resisting letting go of it, I love and accept myself anyway.”
  • Sometimes you need an outside perspective. You might need to work with a practitioner to clear that resistance. It can be hard to get around our own blind spots well enough to really see the problem.

What’s your experience with resistance? Leave a comment below so we can all keep learning.

Take Your Soul Back From Your Business

Soul & Spirit
Are you passionate about what you do? A spirit-centered entrepreneur who has given your soul to your business? Then it’s time to take it back! Seriously.

There’s a misconception that causes problems for many business owners – and artists and performers, too. It’s this: If I love what I’m doing, I need to give it my all. I need to sink my soul into it.

So What’s The Problem?

The problem is one of boundaries. You are separate from your business (or your project, work of art, etc.). You are not your business. If you give your whole soul to your business, then your soul is on the line with every business move you make. That is way too much to risk!

Here’s what happens:

  1. You take business transactions personally. This interferes with your client and vendor relationships.
  2. You’re devastated when something doesn’t work out right.
  3. You’re afraid to take risks because some part of you knows there’s too much at stake.
  4. You wait to get everything perfect before you try something new.

But I NEED to Be Passionate!

Being passionate about what you do is a wonderful thing. And that’s what you need to do instead. Be passionate ABOUT it. Bring your spirit TO it. Wrap your soul AROUND it.

And all the while, you’re keeping your spirit intact, your soul connected to YOU, your passion in your heart. You’re not cheating your business or your art. In fact, you’re giving it the freedom to really bloom.

Imagine The Benefits

Now you can me more objective. You can bounce back quickly from glitches. You won’t be nearly as stressed out because you’re not putting your very essence on the line with every decision you make. You may even sleep better!

Use Tapping To Help

Here are a few ways to help yourself with this:

  • If you have trouble letting go of the myth that you need to give your heart and soul to what you do, put EFT to work. Read how at Tapping To Clear Unwanted Beliefs.
  • Old habits can hang around sometimes. Help yourself by tapping in some affirmations about your new perspective.

If your inner game is slowing down your business, contact me at 520-327-1695 and let’s discuss some ways to get you moving.

Burning Bridges With EFT

Making a powerful commitment includes burning bridges – eliminating the paths of retreat. Yikes! Maybe that sounds a little drastic to you.

But think about it: There’s a bridge behind you that leads back to where you came from. Maybe there’s a part of you saying , “Well, if this doesn’t work out, I can always do what I did before…” If that’s the case, then how truly committed are you to doing something new and different? And what are the chances of succeeding with one foot out the door?

It’s not clear which comes first – total commitment or bridge-burning. I don’t think that matters. But one thing is for sure: they are hooked together.

If complete commitment comes first — to your new project, new business or new partnership — you’re in! You’re not looking back because that doesn’t even enter into the picture. That bridge isn’t even on the horizon. Your energy is totally invested in the future of your new venture.

If bridge-burning comes first, you’ve mentally and emotionally left yourself only one option. And that’s moving forward. There IS no going back, so you are absolutely invested in and committed to your new path. All your energy goes there.

EFT Can Help

Here are a few ways you can use EFT to help yourself feel really good about your commitment.

1. First, quickly tap away any self-blame or impatience with yourself about this. This is very important. Anger or frustration at yourself can serve as an anchor for other emotions that aren’t serving you. So get rid of that blame first thing. It will make your other tapping go more quickly and be more beneficial.

2. Then, if you’re feeling anxious, list your fears and limiting beliefs and use Clearing Clusters technique to tap away that whole list.

3. Next, acknowledge all that got you to this point, thank it and let it go, tapping in affirmations:

  • I’m grateful for all the paths that led me here.
  • I honor my past victories AND mistakes. They’ve all contributed to this moment.
  • I’m thankful for my old ways and all that they taught me.
  • Now I’m willing to leave them in the past.

4. And finally, tap to affirm your excitement and commitment to what’s new:

  • I’m looking forward to the new possibilities opening up.
  • I trust my inner resources and the abundance of resources around me.
  • I’m totally committed to this new _______. I’m in with both feet!
  • The universe is conspiring in my favor and I can feel it.
  • Amazing things are about to happen that support my commitment.
  • I’m overflowing with new ideas and ready to follow through on them now.
  • I’m so excited about my new venture. I’m behind myself 100%!

Keep us posted on how this works for you, and good luck on your new venture!

Tapping For Overwhelm - EFT For The OMG’s

You know how it can all just be too much sometimes? You don’t know where to start. Or you think you’ll never get it all done.  Perfect time to tap!


Keep It Simple

You can feel SO much better really quickly by keeping it simple.  Yes - it’s a great thing to get to the bottom of the problem.  But first, just help yourself to feel better.  It’s not an either-or deal of either working on juicy issues at the core of the overwhelm OR just suffering.  There’s another option for you.

Getting Relief

Use EFT to underwhelm yourself. Get back in balance and closer to center. Then you can decide what path to take.  It might go something like this:


Even though I’m feeling completely overwhelmed by everything that’s going on, I’m doing my best to love and accept myself.
Even though I’m going nuts here with everything I have to do, I respect my feelings and know I’m doing the best I can.
Even though I don’t even know where to begin, I know I want to feel different, and I love and accept myself anyway.

Then tap one round of:

feeling overwhelmed

And another round giving voice to your thoughts, for example:

It’s all too much. I don’t know where to start. I can’t do it all. It’s driving me crazy. There are too many demands. Nobody could do all this. I need to start my day earlier. I need to clone myself [humor never hurts!]. I just want to crawl back under the blankets. There’s no relief in sight…. Add your own thoughts.

Now tap a round or two on how you’re feeling – physically and emotionally – and just get it all out on the table. That includes the anxiety, the anger, the blame, the guilt, muscle tension, tight jaws – whatever!

And now refocus on what you really want:

Even though I still feel a little overwhelmed, I’m allowing myself to release that. I’m choosing peace of mind. And I respect both parts of me – the holding on part and the letting go part.
Even though a small part of me is still feeling like it’s too much, a big part of me has chosen balance and calm. I’m choosing more of that. I’m choosing total peace and balance for myself.
Even though I’m not quite there yet, I’m committed to coming to a place of peace, no matter what’s going on around me. I have a choice, and that’s what I’m choosing.

And tap some rounds affirming that:

I feel centered and back in balance. I’m thankful for my sense of peace. I’m choosing clarity for myself. I’m grateful for my options.  I’m committed to remaining calm. I respect my ability to see new opportunities. I’m resourceful and confident. I’m centered and calm… Add your own phrases.

Now You Have Choices

From your new place of calm, you can choose what to do next. Maybe you want to get to work on one of your tasks at hand. Or maybe you want to take a look at deeper issues and do some more tapping. Maybe you want to contact a practitioner if feeling overwhelmed is a very familiar feeling.  Whatever you choose, you’ll be making that choice from a much better place now.


Tapping When You Don’t Remember

Sometimes clients say, “I just know something happened that’s connected to this current issue, but I can’t remember what it was.” Has that ever happened to you? I know it can be frustrating. But you can still use EFT to help yourself — whether you remember or not.

Don't Remember

Why Don’t You Remember?

You can really drive yourself nuts with this question. The best answer is, “For some very good reason.” Just let go of scolding yourself or hammering at yourself to remember. That doesn’t help. Apparently,  some part of you thinks it’s best to keep the “something” a mystery for now. So honor that part of yourself and move on.

Some possibilities for the reason you don’t remember are:

  • It was so painful when it happened that you suppressed it right away, and still can’t access the memory now. That’s OK - you don’t have to!
  • It was not a single incident, so no wonder you can’t remember it. It may have been a series of small events that added up to a big impact. Good thing you decided to stop looking for it…could have been a long wait.
  • Some part of you knows it would overwhelm you to bring the event to the forefront of your mind right now. So it is protecting you and keeping that connection out of your consciousness.

The First Step

Trust your intuition. Ask yourself if not remembering is a red flag for you. Just get quiet, go inside and check to see if proceeding with EFT on your own is the best thing to do for yourself. You can meditate on it, pray about it or do some journaling. Then trust your answer. If working with a practitioner feels like the better choice, do that for yourself. Sometimes working alone on an issue is not the wisest choice.

Clearing Resistance

If you DO decide to tap on your own, you need to let go of frustration, self-blame or impatience about not remembering. Those forms of anger can really slow down your tapping efforts. It’s as if that anger acts as an anchor to hold the issue right where it’s been all these years. EFT will be slow going.

So just let it go if you can. Or if you need to tap away that aggravation, take the time to do that now.

Moving Ahead With EFT

First, assess your emotional intensity on a scale of 1 to 10. Write that number down.

To clear the un-remembered issue, start with a setup that goes something like this:

  • Even though something bad happened when I was six — I can just feel it — I love and accept myself anyway.
  • Even though I don’t know what happened but it takes my breath away to remember that time, I deeply love myself and I respect my feelings.
  • Even though I can’t remember anything specific but life was different after that summer, I still appreciate and accept myself.
  • Even though this mystery incident has my stomach in knots, and I feel crazy because I can’t remember it, I love and accept myself anyway.

Move On To Tapping

Tap a few rounds on the “mystery event” or the “unknown cause,” or even “whatever happened in 1982.”  Then tap a few rounds on how it makes you feel — emotionally or physically or both.

Stop every few rounds to reassess your intensity. Then stay with it,  and tap the issue down to zero.

You May Be Surprised

At some point during your tapping, you may suddenly remember the incident. This can happen after the emotional intensity has decreased. It’s as if your subconscious says, “It’s not so ugly now, so I’ll show you what’s up.”  Then you’ll have more specifics that you can use EFT on.

Or you may never remember, but get massive relief anyway. For one client, the troubling incident never revealed itself. But she could suddenly remember all the GOOD things that happened during that school year. Before we tapped, she couldn’t remember fifth grade at all.

Here’s wishing you the best on clearing out those foggy incidents. Let us know how this technique works for you by posting a comment below.

And if you’d like some experienced help with your EFT, contact me at 520-327-1695 and we’ll discuss clearing those issues together.


EFT For Pets (Or How To Save On Vet Bills)

Did you know that you can use EFT to help your pets? It’s very effective and fast and can bring great relief to your animals AND your checkbook.


Essential: First Calm Yourself

Unless it’s such an emergency that there’s no time to do this, take a minute to use EFT on yourself first. Clear (or at least reduce) your issues about your pet’s problem. These might include:

  • Worry or anxiety about your pet’s injury or condition
  • Anger at a person or circumstance contributing to the problem
  • Guilt that you contributed to it or didn’t notice it sooner
  • Doubt that tapping can help

In my experience, if you’re too upset, that negative energy can block the success of EFT healing for your pet.

NOTE: If there’s no time to do EFT on yourself, at least take a deep breath and visualize setting your own concerns on a shelf until later. It works!

If Your Pet Lets You Tap

Some animals have no resistance to your tapping on them. If that’s the case, do it! Some people tap on points equivalent to our own points. That’s not always possible, however. Most pets respond to gentle tapping up and down their spine, so you can try that. The top of the head is another place that’s generally easy to get to and is effective.

When You Can’t Tap On Them

There are reasons why it won’t work to tap on your pet. For example:

  • You can’t dive into the fish tank.
  • Your pet is too upset (or stuck in a tree).
  • You’re already at the vet and can’t physically tap on your pet.

Now What?

Now you can tap on yourself on behalf of your pet. It’s called surrogate tapping or proxy tapping. You just pretend you’re the animal and tap on yourself, saying what the animal might say.

Here’s a sample of how I helped my cat who was hiding in a corner with a large cactus thorn in his mouth, and a piece of cactus stuck to his inner thigh. I skipped the setup.
Then I just tapped around the points on my own face and body, saying:

This really hurts and I don’t know what’s going on. Mom loves me and she’s helping me now. I can trust Mom to help me. I’m feeling calm now and my breathing is slowing down. It’s safe for me to let Mom help me. I know she loves me. I can feel all the love right now. It’s OK for me to let Mom come close [he can be very stand-offish}. I can relax now and let Mom help me. It’s OK for Mom to tap on my head. It will feel really good to let Mom tap on my back.

He calmed down and let me remove the cactus without resisting — amazing for his personality! And he allowed me to tap a little bit up and down his spine. Then he walked away, breathing much more slowly than before and appearing normal.

I went back to tapping on myself as if I were him, saying:
I ask my body to heal itself quickly. I don’t need any reaction, so I let go of any swelling. I ask my body to easily let go of any thorns that might be left. I feel like my old self, and I’m ready to enjoy life again. I love being tapped on and I love Mom to help me if I’m hurt. I’ll remember this next time I get myself into trouble.

Who knows? Maybe he will!

Other Animal Examples

Some other ways I’ve used it are:

  • To help a cat heal from a coyote bite wound on his leg
  • To calm an old dog who freaks out when her owner leaves the house
  • To clear some unknown obstruction in the throat of a coughing cat
  • To calm a lizard down so I could catch it to put it outside
  • To get a yellow jacket to leave our picnic table!

Animal EFT Experts

There are tapping practitioners that specialize in working with animals, who go far beyond these simple guidelines. You can easily find them online through Google or at

In the meantime, this is a great way to help your pets when they’re in trouble — and to enjoy your picnics more. Just trust yourself, knowing you have the animal’s best interest at heart. Say whatever comes to mind. Give it a try and let us know how it goes by posting a comment below.

To read about surrogate tapping for other people, check out Tapping For Others - What’s The Deal?

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

love-full2Resentment and hurt and love are often tangled up together. So when you tap on an issue with these ingredients, you might struggle. Sometimes it’s a challenge to release old pain and anger. Examining the love connection can bring the solution.

The Irony Of It All

When you love someone, their actions and words have a bigger impact on you. So it’s easier to feel hurt or angry with a loved one than with someone you don’t care about. Right? It’s much simpler to just blow off a difficult interaction with a person who doesn’t mean much to you.

But when your heart is connected to someone, hurt and anger can result more often. And they can hang around longer, too. That’s why you’re tapping on them – because you’re still carrying them around. So it’s a little ironic that the people you care about the most can contribute heavily to your list of tapping issues.

Hard To Release

Over and over again, clients show resistance to letting go of old issues with loved ones. It can be a spouse, a kid, a parent, a sibling, a close friend – the kind of love doesn’t matter. Let me be clear – the resistance is not a conscious thing. You can be eager to let go of an old grudge. You can be excited at the prospect of healing some old wound. And STILL have a hard time releasing it.

It’s The Love

Love is the reason for the hidden resistance. A fear of losing that love, or losing your connection to someone can slow EFT down. Some part of you can be afraid that to let the problem go is to let your whole connection go. And you’re not about to do that!

Even if it’s always been a rocky relationship. Even if your brother was always mean to you. Even if a parent was abusive to you. Your heart doesn’t want to lose the core love you have for them, underneath all the negative junk. So your mind-body-energy system can say, “Forget about releasing anything. I don’t want to take a chance. I’m not gonna rock this boat.”

What To Do

It’s so easy to address this when you’re tapping. Just acknowledge it in your setup phrase. For example:

  • Even though I’m afraid to let go of this anger because I don’t want to lose my love for Bob, I love and accept myself anyway.
  • Even though I’m concerned that if I release this pain, I’ll lose my connection with my mom, and it’s a shaky connection to begin with…..
  • Even though it feels risky to let go of this old grudge, I want to trust myself to hold onto the good parts of our relationship.

Secret Tapping Weapon

Just assume there’s some resistance like this lurking in any old issue with a loved one. Make it a habit. Build in a setup phrase like one of the above examples– right from the beginning of your session. It can save you a lot of tapping time and frustration.

Try this yourself and report back to us on how it goes. Just leave a comment below.


Bottom Line - Tap Down To Zero

Have you ever heard the phrase “the good is the enemy of the best”? It means that by settling for something good, you could be denying yourself something grand – the best! With tapping, it can be easy to let this happen. But tapping down to zero guarantees you the best – best possible results from tapping on your particular issue.

Isn’t Measuring A Waste of Time?

Some people think that measuring your intensity level or “S.U.D.S.” level is a waste of time. Or they think it’s too much trouble to try to get a number. So they don’t bother. They believe that they can “just tell” when the issue is gone. So they tap until they feel good, and then they stop.

Reasons To Measure

Taking the time to assess emotional intensity can really pay off. Here’s why:

  1. It’s a guideline that tells you if you’re releasing the issue or not, and how quickly. If it’s not moving or moving slowly, you can investigate where the snag is.
  2. It’s encouragement that you’re getting somewhere – especially important with painful issues.
  3. A sudden increase can alert you that a related issue has popped up.
  4. And most important – it can signal that you’re really finished with the issue.

Why Is Zero Important?

In my experience, if the intensity level doesn’t get down to zero, the issue is not completely gone. Furthermore, the intensity level can creep back up – not to its previous level, but it can still climb again. On the other hand, if that number DOES get to zero, that issue does not return. It’s done. Through! Personally, I vote for that result.

If I ask a client what her number is and she says, “I think it’s a zero,” we tap another round or do the 9-gamut procedure. If it’s really at a zero, they’ll be very quickly certain it’s a zero – none of the “I think” stuff even enters into it.

Do Yourself A Favor

So go ahead and measure your intensity of feeling or strength of belief. Write the number down. Then tap it down – all the way to zero. Be sure next to test yourself. If anything shows up, tap THAT down to zero. Then celebrate your freedom from that issue!

Tapping Overwhelm – No More Issues, Please!

Do you ever feel like you’ve opened a Pandora’s box by starting to tap on your issues? Do you get discouraged when a new issue pops up? Here you were – excited to get rid of some old inner junk, only to uncover another layer or a related problem. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming – like this is going to go on forever. Like, what’s the point of clearing one thing if it’s just going to stir up something new?

Not Really New

In reality, your challenge isn’t new. Maybe it hasn’t been in the forefront of your consciousness for awhile, but it’s not new. It’s just that its priority in your psyche and energy system has shifted so now it has come to your attention.

The healing and clearing from tapping is a marvelous phenomenon. And sometimes that clearing reveals some issue that’s been hidden from view – maybe not forever, but for awhile anyway.

There were excellent reasons for that “new” issue to remain out of sight up til now. Here are some possibilities:

  • Maybe you didn’t have the inner strength to face it before.
  • Maybe you didn’t have the certainty that you could do anything about it. But now that you’ve had some tapping success, you know that healing is possible.
  • Maybe it’s too big to deal with on your own and until now you hadn’t found anyone to help you with it.

You can be sure of this: Your highest, wisest self takes really good care of you at all times. What’s the point of allowing an issue to surface if you aren’t able to do something about it? It makes sense that the issue would stay out of view, doesn’t it? So honor your self-protective skills for taking good care of your heart and spirit by revealing things to you in a sensible, timely way.

It’s Good News

Your “new” issue shows up now because it’s time for it to be healed. That’s GOOD news. It’s been my experience that problems reveal themselves at the perfect time on your healing path:

  • Time when you’ve already released other issues that could cause resistance to releasing this one.
  • Time when you’ve built a solid enough foundation to trust the process of tapping – you KNOW it works for you.
  • Time when you have inner strength enough to be the new person you’ll be without that problem.

By the time an issue shows up, it’s ready to go! It is SO ready to be released. Often these issues are eliminated really quickly once you start tapping on them. I hope you’ll start seeing new issues in a different and hopeful light. Maybe you could even welcome them – imagine the possibilities on the other side of letting them go!

And let us all know how it goes by leaving a comment here.