Author Archive for Janet

EFT For The Small Stuff

Tapping is amazing for eliminating intense problems and chronic issues. It’s just remarkable, isn’t it? OK – that’s the big stuff. Are you remembering to use it for the little stuff, too? I’d hate for you to miss out on the smooth flow EFT can create in your everyday life.

No Drama Required

It doesn’t have to be a big deal to qualify for EFT. Any time your day is headed in a direction you don’t like, just start tapping. That’s how simple it is. For example, these scenarios are perfect for quick release with EFT:

• You feel a headache starting up.
• A work situation is frustrating you.
• You’re feeling pressured by a deadline.
• An issue at home is distracting you.
• You’re feeling a little overwhelmed.

Why Bother?

Maybe you’re figuring it’s too much trouble to tap, or you don’t have the time. But check your thinking here. Are you basing your decision on time it takes to clear a big issue. Think again… We’re talking about a matter of maybe five minutes max! That’s a pretty small investment for immediate peace of mind, isn’t it?

I Just Won’t Let It Get To Me

Or maybe this is your objection: I shouldn’t HAVE to tap on this. I should just buck up and get over it. Aren’t I more spiritually developed than to let this get to me? I’ll just blow it off.

I have news for you: bucking up usually involves pushing down. So the matter hasn’t gone away. It’s just gone underground to interfere in a more hidden way, and possibly mushroom into a larger issue.

Nobody’s looking…just use some EFT to get rid of it!

I’ll Do It Later

If you’re thinking you’ll deal with the problem later, that’s fine. Just be aware that a couple of things will probably happen. First, the concern will sap your energy in the meantime as you’re pushing it aside (and holding it there). AND the problem will likely take more time to clear because you’ll have to bring it back into consciousness again.

On The Plus Side

Beyond the obvious benefit of feeling better, here’s why doing EFT on the little stuff is a great option:

• It only takes a minute or two, with no need for doing the setup. You’re completely tuned in to the problem right now.
• You have no time to build up resistance to letting it go. So the release will go quickly.
• Your focus and overall energy will improve by releasing it.
• With the emotional charge gone, you can find a solution to the actual problem much more easily.

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EFT To Recharge Your Motivation

Some days you’re more motivated than others - to really get into your work or your project. When your enthusiasm is drooping a little, it’s not always clear what the cause is. Yesterday you were really gung-ho to move on that. Today, however, is another story…

What’s The Deal?

Lack of motivation can happen for a lot of different reasons. Here are a few possibilities to consider:

• Distraction – If your attention is pulled in another direction, you may simply need to focus to revive your enthusiasm.
• You need a break – Motivation can be tough to sustain over a long period. It’s possible that a brief change in activities is all you need. Then you can return fresh to your project and be ready to go!
• Worry and fear – Sometimes you think it’s a lack of motivation, when the REAL issue is that you’re scared to move ahead. So you’ve pushed fear down to avoid discomfort. The problem is that your enthusiasm got pushed down with the fear. So it’s still there, but it’s just been temporarily squelched.

Getting The Boost You Need

You can use EFT to help yourself in a variety of ways. See if any of these will work for you:

• Tap in affirmations to achieve the level of motivation you’re looking for.
• Listen for “yeah, but..s” or “tail-enders” when you’re doing your affirmations and write them down. Then use EFT on those objections to clear them out.
• If distraction is the problem, use EFT to tap in positive statements: You’re willing to put your focus where it needs to be; you’re willing to clearly see your next step; and you’re willing to trust your inner guidance. Then follow through on that guidance. Once you’re doing what you need to be doing, it’s likely your motivation will return.
• Check to see if fear is the real culprit. Then use EFT to eliminate that fear. When there’s no longer a need to squash your feelings, your enthusiasm will bounce back.

Bye-Bye Guilt And Blame

Whatever approach you take, be sure to let go of any guilt or self-blame about feeling unmotivated. For some people that’s a challenge. But the truth is that feeling guilty about being distracted just distracts you further! Or blaming yourself for avoiding fear is an extra obstacle to regaining motivation.

So if you can just gently let those things go, do it! If not, then use EFT to clear guilt or self-criticism. And remember: getting rid of those FIRST will speed up the rest of your tapping!

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You Should Be Done By Now

You should be done with that by now! Ever tell yourself that? Most of us do at one time or another. Sometimes it’s because we’ve been procrastinating. Or maybe we started something without the skills or information we really need to get it done.

How It Shows Up

I hear different versions of this from clients all the time. See if you recognize any of these real life scenarios as something you might do:

• a coach was mad at himself for missing a networking event for the third month in a row
• a consultant was annoyed because she hadn’t resolved details of her mother’s estate
• a healing practitioner scolded herself for stalling on creating a separate business phone line
• a teacher ridiculed himself for still being interested in his ex-wife’s dating activities

So here’s what happens when you have something like this going on. You can see a logical solution to the problem. Right? Something you can DO. And you keep trying to get yourself to do that thing. That’s what logic tells you is the answer.

Wrong! The root of the problem is an emotional one – not a logical one. So it needs to be addressed with an emotional tool. And EFT is perfect for that. Great! There’s hope for a solution.

Tapping Slow-Down

Once you’re tapping, this self-blame can slow you down. I know I’ve written about this anger at yourself before. But this “shouldn’t I be done” anger is in a special zone all its own. I see it again and again. It can create big resistance to releasing the core issue.

Sometimes the release is slow right from the beginning. But often, clients get off to a good start — their emotional intensity is dropping at a good rate. Then they stall out about halfway through the session. The culprit? This special flavor of self-blame.

Here are some subconscious forms it can take:

• If I could get over this, I would have by now. I obviously can’t get over it, so I’m not going to release it.
• I should be punished because this has gone on for so long, so hanging onto this issue is my punishment.
• I put off getting help for this when I knew I needed it, so this is the price I have to pay – holding onto my problem.
• I know logically what I should have done a long time ago. I didn’t do it, so I need to suffer.

What To Do

You can tap directly on the issue of blaming yourself for not being done yet. Or just work the phrasing into your setup statements. For example:

• Even though I’m reluctant to let go of this divorce grief because I should be over it by now, I want to love myself anyway.
• Even though I’m resistant to clearing any more of this networking fear because I should have taken care of it 3 months ago, I want to respect myself and accept my feelings.
• Even though it feels impossible to clear this issue, and maybe I’ve gone as far as I deserve to because I’m a procrastinator, I want to love all parts of me anyway.

Let us know how this works for you — leave a comment below.

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EFT – Resisting Letting Go

Sometimes when you tap you don’t make much progress with releasing your issue. There’s some inner resistance to letting go. In EFT jargon, the resistance is called a reversal or energy reversal. When you tap, the energy is not going in the direction you want (releasing), but is stuck in reverse (holding on).

What It Means

Resistance is not uncommon. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It really just means your system is doing a good job of protecting you.

Our body-minds are set up to do what it takes to maintain balance. Any change upsets the balance. Whatever ways you’ve managed to carry around that problem and still function has worked – to some degree. So your system says, “I’m not changing that. I’m not letting go. Better stick with what we know.”

Not A Surprise

Any issue we’ve had for more than a day or two likely has resistance attached to it. Not on a conscious level probably, but on a subconscious level. It’s a natural defense mechanism that kicks in so we can keep on functioning. Think about it: If you had no resistance to letting it go, you would have already let it go. Right? You wouldn’t even need to be doing EFT on the problem in the first place!

Don’t Fight It

Resisting resistance doesn’t help. You’ve already got a little tug-of-war going on. There’s a part of you that wants to let go. And another part that’s holding on. Don’t add a third part to the mix by being mad at yourself or feeling ashamed. Denying the resistance won’t help either. Your best choice is to relax – if you can – and accept the resistance.

What To Do About It

Use EFT to eliminate the resistance. There are a few different ways to do this. Try them out and see what works for you.

• Stop tapping on your original issue. Treat your resistance as a separate issue and use EFT on it. Then come back to your original issue.
• Work it into your setup statements like this: “Even though I have this (problem) and I’m resisting letting go of it, I love and accept myself anyway.”
• Sometimes you need an outside perspective. You might need to work with a practitioner to clear that resistance. It can be hard to get around our own blind spots well enough to really see the problem.

What’s your experience with resistance? Leave a comment below so we can all keep learning.

Take Your Soul Back From Your Business

Are you passionate about what you do? A spirit-centered entrepreneur who has given your soul to your business? Then it’s time to take it back! Seriously.

There’s a misconception that causes problems for many business owners – and artists and performers, too. It’s this: If I love what I’m doing, I need to give it my all. I need to sink my soul into it.

So What’s The Problem?

The problem is one of boundaries. You are separate from your business (or your project, work of art, etc.). You are not your business. If you give your whole soul to your business, then your soul is on the line with every business move you make. That is way too much to risk!

Here’s what happens:

1. You take business transactions personally. This interferes with your client and vendor relationships.
2. You’re devastated when something doesn’t work out right.
3. You’re afraid to take risks because some part of you knows there’s too much at stake.
4. You wait to get everything perfect before you try something new.

But I NEED to Be Passionate!

Being passionate about what you do is a wonderful thing. And that’s what you need to do instead. Be passionate ABOUT it. Bring your spirit TO it. Wrap your soul AROUND it.

And all the while, you’re keeping your spirit intact, your soul connected to YOU, your passion in your heart. You’re not cheating your business or your art. In fact, you’re giving it the freedom to really bloom.

Imagine The Benefits

Now you can me more objective. You can bounce back quickly from glitches. You won’t be nearly as stressed out because you’re not putting your very essence on the line with every decision you make. You may even sleep better!

Use Tapping To Help

Here are a few ways to help yourself with this:

• If you have trouble letting go of the myth that you need to give your heart and soul to what you do, put EFT to work. Read how at Tapping To Clear Unwanted Beliefs.
• Old habits can hang around sometimes. Help yourself by tapping in some affirmations about your new perspective.

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If your inner game is slowing down your business, contact me at 520-327-1695 and let’s discuss some ways to get you moving.
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Burning Bridges With EFT

Making a powerful commitment includes burning bridges – eliminating the paths of retreat. Yikes! Maybe that sounds a little drastic to you.

But think about it: There’s a bridge behind you that leads back to where you came from. Maybe there’s a part of you saying , “Well, if this doesn’t work out, I can always do what I did before…” If that’s the case, then how truly committed are you to doing something new and different? And what are the chances of succeeding with one foot out the door?

It’s not clear which comes first – total commitment or bridge-burning. I don’t think that matters. But one thing is for sure: they are hooked together.

If complete commitment comes first — to your new project, new business or new partnership — you’re in! You’re not looking back because that doesn’t even enter into the picture. That bridge isn’t even on the horizon. Your energy is totally invested in the future of your new venture.

If bridge-burning comes first, you’ve mentally and emotionally left yourself only one option. And that’s moving forward. There IS no going back, so you are absolutely invested in and committed to your new path. All your energy goes there.

EFT Can Help

Here are a few ways you can use EFT to help yourself feel really good about your commitment.

1. First, quickly tap away any self-blame or impatience with yourself about this. This is very important. Anger or frustration at yourself can serve as an anchor for other emotions that aren’t serving you. So get rid of that blame first thing. It will make your other tapping go more quickly and be more beneficial.

2. Then, if you’re feeling anxious, list your fears and limiting beliefs and use Clearing Clusters technique to tap away that whole list.

3. Next, acknowledge all that got you to this point, thank it and let it go, tapping in affirmations:

• I’m grateful for all the paths that led me here.
• I honor my past victories AND mistakes. They’ve all contributed to this moment.
• I’m thankful for my old ways and all that they taught me.
• Now I’m willing to leave them in the past.

4. And finally, tap to affirm your excitement and commitment to what’s new:

• I’m looking forward to the new possibilities opening up.
• I trust my inner resources and the abundance of resources around me.
• I’m totally committed to this new _______. I’m in with both feet!
• The universe is conspiring in my favor and I can feel it.
• Amazing things are about to happen that support my commitment.
• I’m overflowing with new ideas and ready to follow through on them now.
• I’m so excited about my new venture. I’m behind myself 100%!

Keep us posted on how this works for you, and good luck on your new venture!
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Tapping For Trust Problems

Do you have a hard time trusting other people? Do you think being distrustful means you’re wise? I worked with a small business owner the other day who approaches his world in that way.

Here’s the problem with that outlook: Being distrustful makes YOU harder to trust. And that’s really tough on your business. Folks do business with people they trust, right? So where does that leave you?

Take A Look At Trust

If you’re not trusting other people, you’re on guard – protective and defended against possible problems. So a part of you is closed off (that part that you’re protecting). This affects your body language, your facial expressions, what you say, and your whole vibe.

People pick up on that whether you think they do or not — even if only on a subconscious level. They sense that you’re hiding something (which is really that closed-off part). And they don’t know what that something is. This creates more uncertainty – more of their inner red flags go up.

Now YOU are not to be trusted! Isn’t that ironic? Then you pick up that distrusting vibe from them and the reactions just bounce back and forth, helping nobody!

Using EFT To Help

Tapping to shift your trust level begins with you. It’s not really about other people at all. It’s about your perspective. And sometimes about habit, too. If you’ve been distrustful for a long time, that can be a familiar place to go when you feel uncertain.

So here are some ways that tapping can improve the whole trust thing:

1. Use EFT to clear the emotional charge on major past events that fostered distrust – especially the EARLY ones.

2. Examine your beliefs about who can be trusted and who can’t. You may have whole groups of people (certain professions, ethnicities, a whole gender, age groups) that you distrust. Use EFT to unhook the influence of these old beliefs that no longer serve you.

3. Tap on the habit of not trusting people. And if you learned that habit from a parent, include letting go of that learning in your EFT. Just reassure your inner self that you’re not letting go of your connection to your parent so you don’t fire up resistance.

4. Tap to gain confidence in your own choices and judgment – in other words, trusting yourself. This is a BIGGIE! Often the main problem is that you don’t trust yourself and your interactions with the world. Use EFT on a regular basis to tap in affirmations to help you with this. Here are some examples:

• My intuition is strong and clear. I listen and respond quickly.
• I make excellent choices and educated decisions.
• I honor my experience and use it in constructive ways.
• I’m grateful for my confidence and self-assurance.
• My judgment is sound. I appreciate my clear thinking.
• I use my inner resources to know my best course of action.
• I’m grateful for my wisdom.
• I look forward to new opportunities with new people.
• The Universe is conspiring in my favor!

Notice Your New Outlook

As you shift towards trusting people, you’ll be amazed at how people are drawn to you. Your interactions will be very different. It’s really fun to notice all the little changes. And in your business, it’s great to see new opportunities open up as people trust YOU more.

If experienced outside help with your trust issues is what you need, contact me to set up your complimentary 15-minute consultation. We’ll discuss the best way to get you moving!

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Tapping For Overwhelm - EFT For The OMG’s

You know how it can all just be too much sometimes? You don’t know where to start. Or you think you’ll never get it all done.  Perfect time to tap!

Keep It Simple

You can feel SO much better really quickly by keeping it simple.  Yes - it’s a great thing to get to the bottom of the problem.  But first, just help yourself to feel better.  It’s not an either-or deal of either working on juicy issues at the core of the overwhelm OR just suffering.  There’s another option for you.

Getting Relief

Use EFT to underwhelm yourself. Get back in balance and closer to center. Then you can decide what path to take.  It might go something like this:

Setup:

Even though I’m feeling completely overwhelmed by everything that’s going on, I’m doing my best to love and accept myself.
Even though I’m going nuts here with everything I have to do, I respect my feelings and know I’m doing the best I can.
Even though I don’t even know where to begin, I know I want to feel different, and I love and accept myself anyway.

Then tap one round of:

feeling overwhelmed

And another round giving voice to your thoughts, for example:

It’s all too much. I don’t know where to start. I can’t do it all. It’s driving me crazy. There are too many demands. Nobody could do all this. I need to start my day earlier. I need to clone myself [humor never hurts!]. I just want to crawl back under the blankets. There’s no relief in sight…. Add your own thoughts.

Now tap a round or two on how you’re feeling – physically and emotionally – and just get it all out on the table. That includes the anxiety, the anger, the blame, the guilt, muscle tension, tight jaws – whatever!

And now refocus on what you really want:

Even though I still feel a little overwhelmed, I’m allowing myself to release that. I’m choosing peace of mind. And I respect both parts of me – the holding on part and the letting go part.
Even though a small part of me is still feeling like it’s too much, a big part of me has chosen balance and calm. I’m choosing more of that. I’m choosing total peace and balance for myself.
Even though I’m not quite there yet, I’m committed to coming to a place of peace, no matter what’s going on around me. I have a choice, and that’s what I’m choosing.

And tap some rounds affirming that:

I feel centered and back in balance. I’m thankful for my sense of peace. I’m choosing clarity for myself. I’m grateful for my options.  I’m committed to remaining calm. I respect my ability to see new opportunities. I’m resourceful and confident. I’m centered and calm… Add your own phrases.

Now You Have Choices

From your new place of calm, you can choose what to do next. Maybe you want to get to work on one of your tasks at hand. Or maybe you want to take a look at deeper issues and do some more tapping. Maybe you want to contact a practitioner if feeling overwhelmed is a very familiar feeling.  Whatever you choose, you’ll be making that choice from a much better place now.

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Tapping When You Don’t Remember

Sometimes clients say, “I just know something happened that’s connected to this current issue, but I can’t remember what it was.” Has that ever happened to you? I know it can be frustrating. But you can still use EFT to help yourself — whether you remember or not.

Why Don’t You Remember?

You can really drive yourself nuts with this question. The best answer is, “For some very good reason.” Just let go of scolding yourself or hammering at yourself to remember. That doesn’t help. Apparently,  some part of you thinks it’s best to keep the “something” a mystery for now. So honor that part of yourself and move on.

Some possibilities for the reason you don’t remember are:

• It was so painful when it happened that you suppressed it right away, and still can’t access the memory now. That’s OK - you don’t have to!
• It was not a single incident, so no wonder you can’t remember it. It may have been a series of small events that added up to a big impact. Good thing you decided to stop looking for it…could have been a long wait.
• Some part of you knows it would overwhelm you to bring the event to the forefront of your mind right now. So it is protecting you and keeping that connection out of your consciousness.

The First Step

Trust your intuition. Ask yourself if not remembering is a red flag for you. Just get quiet, go inside and check to see if proceeding with EFT on your own is the best thing to do for yourself. You can meditate on it, pray about it or do some journaling. Then trust your answer. If working with a practitioner feels like the better choice, do that for yourself. Sometimes working alone on an issue is not the wisest choice.

Clearing Resistance

If you DO decide to tap on your own, you need to let go of frustration, self-blame or impatience about not remembering. Those forms of anger can really slow down your tapping efforts. It’s as if that anger acts as an anchor to hold the issue right where it’s been all these years. EFT will be slow going.

So just let it go if you can. Or if you need to tap away that aggravation, take the time to do that now.

Moving Ahead With EFT

First, assess your emotional intensity on a scale of 1 to 10. Write that number down.

To clear the un-remembered issue, start with a setup that goes something like this:

• Even though something bad happened when I was six — I can just feel it — I love and accept myself anyway.
• Even though I don’t know what happened but it takes my breath away to remember that time, I deeply love myself and I respect my feelings.
• Even though I can’t remember anything specific but life was different after that summer, I still appreciate and accept myself.
• Even though this mystery incident has my stomach in knots, and I feel crazy because I can’t remember it, I love and accept myself anyway.

Move On To Tapping

Tap a few rounds on the “mystery event” or the “unknown cause,” or even “whatever happened in 1982.”  Then tap a few rounds on how it makes you feel — emotionally or physically or both.

Stop every few rounds to reassess your intensity. Then stay with it,  and tap the issue down to zero.

You May Be Surprised

At some point during your tapping, you may suddenly remember the incident. This can happen after the emotional intensity has decreased. It’s as if your subconscious says, “It’s not so ugly now, so I’ll show you what’s up.”  Then you’ll have more specifics that you can use EFT on.

Or you may never remember, but get massive relief anyway. For one client, the troubling incident never revealed itself. But she could suddenly remember all the GOOD things that happened during that school year. Before we tapped, she couldn’t remember fifth grade at all.

Here’s wishing you the best on clearing out those foggy incidents. Let us know how this technique works for you by posting a comment below.

And if you’d like some experienced help with your EFT, contact me at 520-327-1695 and we’ll discuss clearing those issues together.

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EFT To Help Stick With It

Do you find yourself having problems sticking with what you’re doing? Is it hard to just keep at it until you get the task done? It happens to everyone sooner or later, and to some of us a lot! If this is a problem that’s messing with your peace of mind, try using EFT to help yourself.

First Things First

Before you get started, it’s really important to let go of blame and anger about it. That means blaming yourself, blaming circumstances, and blaming other people. If that seems like a huge deal, then just set the blame aside for the time being. You can always come back to it!

The reason you need to do this first is that this blame can anchor the problem. It can prevent the easy release of your concern with EFT. So that’s the first step.

Find Your Tapping Focus

Next, just ask yourself what’s happening here so you have a direction for your tapping. See if your problem with sticking to it fits with one of these:

• feeling fuzzy and unfocused
• feeling distracted
• feeling bored or aggravated
• feeling anxious

Use EFT To Help Yourself

Now you’ve got a starting point for your tapping. Acknowledge and accept your situation in the setup. Then affirm a new direction for yourself so you can move on. Of course, if there is a large issue that needs attention, you should use regular EFT to release that first.

But often, it can just take a few minutes of positive tapping to get you on the right road. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

Feeling Distracted

Even though I’m feeling distracted, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though my mind keeps wandering, I forgive myself and know it can be different.
Even though distraction has kept me from sticking with this, I’m ready for a new direction.

Feeling Fuzzy And Unfocused

Even though I’ve felt unfocused and can’t keep at this, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I can’t stay clear enough to stick with this project, I know I’m doing the best I can.
Even though my mind’s been fuzzy, I’m willing to let the fog fall away.

Feeling Bored/Aggravated

Even though I feel too bored/aggravated to stick with this, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I wish this boring/aggravating thing would just finish itself, I respect my feelings.
Even though I’d rather do anything else, I want to allow myself to complete this quickly.

Feeling Anxious

Even though I’m feeling anxious and too uncomfortable to stick with this, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I don’t like feeling anxious, so it’s taking a long time to finish this, I respect myself and know I’m doing the best I can.
Even though I’m not sure I can do this, I love myself anyway.

Affirm New Possibilities

Try a combination of some of these affirmations to get you moving in the right direction. If you feel yourself wandering off track, take a breathing break and tap in a few more.

• It feels great to be focused.
• I’m looking forward to finishing this in record time.
• I’m open to forming a new habit.
• I can picture this project completed. That feels so good.
• I trust my inner resources to work on my behalf.
• Circumstances are conspiring in my favor.
• I am calm, confident and courageous, and it’s really paying off.
• I’m glowing with pride at my accomplishment.
• I’m setting a new record for myself. I’m getting through this in no time!
• I’m grateful for my skills and abilities that make this possible.
• I amaze myself with my willingness to persevere!

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Leave a comment below and let us know how this works for you.

If follow-through is a big problem for you, you may need outside help to get to the heart of it. To explore options to work with Janet on your issues, call 520-327-1695 or contact me here.

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