April 07, 2009 | Janet | Comments 1

Improve Relationships with EFT – Part 1 – Anger

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. They range from partners and family members to friends, colleagues and business acquaintances. And maintaining them is tricky business sometimes, right?

EFT can be a great tool for helping you with those connections. There are lots of ways you can improve relationships by tapping. What we’re focusing on here is using EFT on anger.

I’m Not Angry

“Anger? But I don’t really have anger with anyone” (you might be saying). Well, I’m just using the word “anger” to describe a category of emotions. Does one of these words fit better for you? Review the list and see if you feel like this in any of your relationships:

  • frustrated
  • annoyed
  • irritated
  • bugged
  • resentful
  • mad
  • outraged
  • pissed off

OK – If any of those ring a bell, then you’ve got a doorway to improve your connection with the other person. Simply use EFT to tap away that anger (by whatever name you label it).


Listen for your own resistance to releasing your anger and include that in your tapping. Maybe it’s a belief that they need to apologize first. Maybe it’s a belief that it’s not safe to let go of your anger. Or a belief that it’s impossible to let go of it.

Just notice any of these “yeah, but…s” that pop up. Then tap away that resistance first – BEFORE you tap on the anger and the cause of it.

Results (or Why Bother?)

Relationships are a dance of sorts, aren’t they? One person does one thing, then the other responds. Well, that dance can change radically when anger is removed.

The other person knows either consciously or unconsciously that you’re holding a level of anger. Think about it. You can sense that in someone else, can’t you? Sure you can ….

So their thoughts, words and actions likely protect them from that anger. That creates some tension. It might be some withdrawal. Or maybe some aggression. Or maybe some worry.

When you eliminate your anger, their need to defend against it is gone. They relax and the whole dynamic of your connection changes. Give it a try. You might be amazed!

Let us know how it goes for you. Try it and come back and leave a comment.

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One Response to “Improve Relationships with EFT – Part 1 – Anger”

  1. Jade says:

    Janet, thanks! I found this post refreshingly specific and succinct around the effects of anger - especially on relationships. I love how you encourage visiting the resistance (feelings about the anger) before we even go there with the frustration, etc. Nice.

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