Do you shy away from stating the negative with EFT? Afraid you’re reinforcing the problem? That’s what happened with a client last week. We started tapping and her anxiety level went up instead of down. Turned out she was afraid she would make her worries permanent by saying them out loud.

And she’s not the only one. Many people who are used to working with affirmations, New Thought spiritual teachings and/or the Law of Attraction have this concern with EFT. They’re afraid they could actually make things worse – maybe even create more of the problem – by talking about the negative aspects of their challenge.

In fact, the opposite is true. It’s actually beneficial to focus first on those unwanted things. It’s true that what you focus on expands, but this focus is very temporary. Here are two reasons why that focus is a good thing:

1. You need to start from precisely where you are. That’s the spot on the map that you’re taking off from. The EFT process works like any other where you want to get from Point A to Point B. You need to identify Point A, and if that’s a negative spot, then that’s just the fact of where you are.
    
   Think of it like traveling. Say you’re headed for New York from here. Well, where’s “here?” If you just say “somewhere on the west coast,” you could add a lot of extra time and mileage getting to New York. All you know is the general direction you want to head in. But if you get specific, you can pick the fastest route there. You can make a plan. You can name spots along the way that can let you know you’re headed in the right direction. You can get those same benefits from clearly stating your starting point with EFT – and it likely has some negative aspects to it. That’s OK.
    
   So clearly state your unwanted feelings and thoughts and beliefs at the start of your EFT sessions. An unexpected bonus: You may be surprised at the relief you’ll feel simply from stating them out loud.

&nsbp;

2. Another reason to address the negative is because there’s a part of you that has a good reason (even if it’s a hidden reason) for feeling that way. It’s important to give a voice to that part of you – let it speak up at the start of your tapping sessions.
    
   You can try to ignore it, close the door on it, and go straight for addressing the positive with EFT. But you’ll likely make more work for yourself that way. If you don’t let the negative part of you be heard, it doesn’t just go away. In fact, sometimes it just gets stronger in its conflict with the positive. This can even create more resistance to releasing the issue.

What’s The Answer?

Don’t be afraid to shine the light on the negative side of the issue so you can clearly see what you’re dealing with. As you tap, name the crummy details and ugly specifics so you know exactly what you want to let go of, what you want to heal.

As you tap and the emotional charge decreases on your issue, start to shift your focus. Move to the positive side and focus on what you want as you tap. EFT Master Pat Carrington’s Choices Method is a great way to do that.

What’s your experience? Leave us a comment below.

Making a powerful commitment includes burning bridges – eliminating the paths of retreat. Yikes! Maybe that sounds a little drastic to you.

But think about it: There’s a bridge behind you that leads back to where you came from. Maybe there’s a part of you saying , “Well, if this doesn’t work out, I can always do what I did before…” If that’s the case, then how truly committed are you to doing something new and different? And what are the chances of succeeding with one foot out the door?

It’s not clear which comes first – total commitment or bridge-burning. I don’t think that matters. But one thing is for sure: they are hooked together.

If complete commitment comes first — to your new project, new business or new partnership — you’re in! You’re not looking back because that doesn’t even enter into the picture. That bridge isn’t even on the horizon. Your energy is totally invested in the future of your new venture.

If bridge-burning comes first, you’ve mentally and emotionally left yourself only one option. And that’s moving forward. There IS no going back, so you are absolutely invested in and committed to your new path. All your energy goes there.

EFT Can Help

Here are a few ways you can use EFT to help yourself feel really good about your commitment. (EFT is an easy-to-learn tool for mindset change. Learn more here.)

1. First, quickly tap away any self-blame or impatience with yourself about this. This is very important. Anger or frustration at yourself can serve as an anchor for other emotions that aren’t serving you. So get rid of that blame first thing. It will make your other tapping go more quickly and be more beneficial.

2. Then, if you’re feeling anxious, list your fears and limiting beliefs and use Clearing Clusters technique to tap away that whole list.

3. Next, acknowledge all that got you to this point, thank it and let it go, tapping in affirmations:

• I’m grateful for all the paths that led me here.
• I honor my past victories AND mistakes. They’ve all contributed to this moment.
• I’m thankful for my old ways and all that they taught me.
• Now I’m willing to leave them in the past.

4. And finally, tap to affirm your excitement and commitment to what’s new:

• I’m looking forward to the new possibilities opening up.
• I trust my inner resources and the abundance of resources around me.
• I’m totally committed to this new _______. I’m in with both feet!
• The universe is conspiring in my favor and I can feel it.
• Amazing things are about to happen that support my commitment.
• I’m overflowing with new ideas and ready to follow through on them now.
• I’m so excited about my new venture. I’m behind myself 100%!

Keep us posted on how this works for you, and good luck on your new venture!
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Tapping is amazing for eliminating intense problems and chronic issues. It’s just remarkable, isn’t it? OK – that’s the big stuff. Are you remembering to use it for the little stuff, too? I’d hate for you to miss out on the smooth flow EFT can create in your everyday life.

No Drama Required

It doesn’t have to be a big deal to qualify for EFT. Any time your day is headed in a direction you don’t like, just start tapping. That’s how simple it is. For example, these scenarios are perfect for quick release with EFT:

• You feel a headache starting up.
• A work situation is frustrating you.
• You’re feeling pressured by a deadline.
• An issue at home is distracting you.
• You’re feeling a little overwhelmed.

Why Bother?

Maybe you’re figuring it’s too much trouble to tap, or you don’t have the time. But check your thinking here. Are you basing your decision on time it takes to clear a big issue. Think again… We’re talking about a matter of maybe five minutes max! That’s a pretty small investment for immediate peace of mind, isn’t it?

I Just Won’t Let It Get To Me

Or maybe this is your objection: I shouldn’t HAVE to tap on this. I should just buck up and get over it. Aren’t I more spiritually developed than to let this get to me? I’ll just blow it off.

I have news for you: bucking up usually involves pushing down. So the matter hasn’t gone away. It’s just gone underground to interfere in a more hidden way, and possibly mushroom into a larger issue.

Nobody’s looking…just use some EFT to get rid of it!

I’ll Do It Later

If you’re thinking you’ll deal with the problem later, that’s fine. Just be aware that a couple of things will probably happen. First, the concern will sap your energy in the meantime as you’re pushing it aside (and holding it there). AND the problem will likely take more time to clear because you’ll have to bring it back into consciousness again.

On The Plus Side

Beyond the obvious benefit of feeling better, here’s why doing EFT on the little stuff is a great option:

• It only takes a minute or two, with no need for doing the setup. You’re completely tuned in to the problem right now.
• You have no time to build up resistance to letting it go. So the release will go quickly.
• Your focus and overall energy will improve by releasing it.
• With the emotional charge gone, you can find a solution to the actual problem much more easily.

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You should be done with that by now! Ever tell yourself that? Most of us do at one time or another. Sometimes it’s because we’ve been procrastinating. Or maybe we started something without the skills or information we really need to get it done.

How It Shows Up

I hear different versions of this from clients all the time. See if you recognize any of these real life scenarios as something you might do:

• a coach was mad at himself for missing a networking event for the third month in a row
• a consultant was annoyed because she hadn’t resolved details of her mother’s estate
• a healing practitioner scolded herself for stalling on creating a separate business phone line
• a teacher ridiculed himself for still being interested in his ex-wife’s dating activities

So here’s what happens when you have something like this going on. You can see a logical solution to the problem. Right? Something you can DO. And you keep trying to get yourself to do that thing. That’s what logic tells you is the answer.

Wrong! The root of the problem is an emotional one – not a logical one. So it needs to be addressed with an emotional tool. And EFT is perfect for that. Great! There’s hope for a solution.

Tapping Slow-Down

Once you’re tapping, this self-blame can slow you down. I know I’ve written about this anger at yourself before. But this “shouldn’t I be done” anger is in a special zone all its own. I see it again and again. It can create big resistance to releasing the core issue.

Sometimes the release is slow right from the beginning. But often, clients get off to a good start — their emotional intensity is dropping at a good rate. Then they stall out about halfway through the session. The culprit? This special flavor of self-blame.

Here are some subconscious forms it can take:

• If I could get over this, I would have by now. I obviously can’t get over it, so I’m not going to release it.
• I should be punished because this has gone on for so long, so hanging onto this issue is my punishment.
• I put off getting help for this when I knew I needed it, so this is the price I have to pay – holding onto my problem.
• I know logically what I should have done a long time ago. I didn’t do it, so I need to suffer.

What To Do

You can tap directly on the issue of blaming yourself for not being done yet. Or just work the phrasing into your setup statements. For example:

• Even though I’m reluctant to let go of this divorce grief because I should be over it by now, I want to love myself anyway.
• Even though I’m resistant to clearing any more of this networking fear because I should have taken care of it 3 months ago, I want to respect myself and accept my feelings.
• Even though it feels impossible to clear this issue, and maybe I’ve gone as far as I deserve to because I’m a procrastinator, I want to love all parts of me anyway.

Let us know how this works for you — leave a comment below.

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Do you have a hard time trusting other people? Do you think being distrustful means you’re wise? I worked with a small business owner the other day who approaches his world in that way.

Here’s the problem with that outlook: Being distrustful makes YOU harder to trust. And that’s really tough on your business. Folks do business with people they trust, right? So where does that leave you?

Take A Look At Trust

If you’re not trusting other people, you’re on guard – protective and defended against possible problems. So a part of you is closed off (that part that you’re protecting). This affects your body language, your facial expressions, what you say, and your whole vibe.

People pick up on that whether you think they do or not — even if only on a subconscious level. They sense that you’re hiding something (which is really that closed-off part). And they don’t know what that something is. This creates more uncertainty – more of their inner red flags go up.

Now YOU are not to be trusted! Isn’t that ironic? Then you pick up that distrusting vibe from them and the reactions just bounce back and forth, helping nobody!

Using EFT To Help

Tapping to shift your trust level begins with you. It’s not really about other people at all. It’s about your perspective. And sometimes about habit, too. If you’ve been distrustful for a long time, that can be a familiar place to go when you feel uncertain.

So here are some ways that tapping can improve the whole trust thing:

1. Use EFT to clear the emotional charge on major past events that fostered distrust – especially the EARLY ones.

2. Examine your beliefs about who can be trusted and who can’t. You may have whole groups of people (certain professions, ethnicities, a whole gender, age groups) that you distrust. Use EFT to unhook the influence of these old beliefs that no longer serve you.

3. Tap on the habit of not trusting people. And if you learned that habit from a parent, include letting go of that learning in your EFT. Just reassure your inner self that you’re not letting go of your connection to your parent so you don’t fire up resistance.

4. Tap to gain confidence in your own choices and judgment – in other words, trusting yourself. This is a BIGGIE! Often the main problem is that you don’t trust yourself and your interactions with the world. Use EFT on a regular basis to tap in affirmations to help you with this. Here are some examples:

• My intuition is strong and clear. I listen and respond quickly.
• I make excellent choices and educated decisions.
• I honor my experience and use it in constructive ways.
• I’m grateful for my confidence and self-assurance.
• My judgment is sound. I appreciate my clear thinking.
• I use my inner resources to know my best course of action.
• I’m grateful for my wisdom.
• I look forward to new opportunities with new people.
• The Universe is conspiring in my favor!

Notice Your New Outlook

As you shift towards trusting people, you’ll be amazed at how people are drawn to you. Your interactions will be very different. It’s really fun to notice all the little changes. And in your business, it’s great to see new opportunities open up as people trust YOU more.

If experienced outside help with your trust issues is what you need, contact me to set up your complimentary 15-minute consultation. We’ll discuss the best way to get you moving!

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Sometimes clients say, “I just know something happened that’s connected to this current issue, but I can’t remember what it was.” Has that ever happened to you? I know it can be frustrating. But you can still use EFT to help yourself — whether you remember or not.

Why Don’t You Remember?

You can really drive yourself nuts with this question. The best answer is, “For some very good reason.” Just let go of scolding yourself or hammering at yourself to remember. That doesn’t help. Apparently,  some part of you thinks it’s best to keep the “something” a mystery for now. So honor that part of yourself and move on.

Some possibilities for the reason you don’t remember are:

• It was so painful when it happened that you suppressed it right away, and still can’t access the memory now. That’s OK – you don’t have to!
• It was not a single incident, so no wonder you can’t remember it. It may have been a series of small events that added up to a big impact. Good thing you decided to stop looking for it…could have been a long wait.
• Some part of you knows it would overwhelm you to bring the event to the forefront of your mind right now. So it is protecting you and keeping that connection out of your consciousness.

The First Step

Trust your intuition. Ask yourself if not remembering is a red flag for you. Just get quiet, go inside and check to see if proceeding with EFT on your own is the best thing to do for yourself. You can meditate on it, pray about it or do some journaling. Then trust your answer. If working with a practitioner feels like the better choice, do that for yourself. Sometimes working alone on an issue is not the wisest choice.

Clearing Resistance

If you DO decide to tap on your own, you need to let go of frustration, self-blame or impatience about not remembering. Those forms of anger can really slow down your tapping efforts. It’s as if that anger acts as an anchor to hold the issue right where it’s been all these years. EFT will be slow going.

So just let it go if you can. Or if you need to tap away that aggravation, take the time to do that now.

Moving Ahead With EFT

First, assess your emotional intensity on a scale of 1 to 10. Write that number down.

To clear the un-remembered issue, start with a setup that goes something like this:

• Even though something bad happened when I was six — I can just feel it — I love and accept myself anyway.
• Even though I don’t know what happened but it takes my breath away to remember that time, I deeply love myself and I respect my feelings.
• Even though I can’t remember anything specific but life was different after that summer, I still appreciate and accept myself.
• Even though this mystery incident has my stomach in knots, and I feel crazy because I can’t remember it, I love and accept myself anyway.

Move On To Tapping

Tap a few rounds on the “mystery event” or the “unknown cause,” or even “whatever happened in 1982.”  Then tap a few rounds on how it makes you feel — emotionally or physically or both.

Stop every few rounds to reassess your intensity. Then stay with it,  and tap the issue down to zero.

You May Be Surprised

At some point during your tapping, you may suddenly remember the incident. This can happen after the emotional intensity has decreased. It’s as if your subconscious says, “It’s not so ugly now, so I’ll show you what’s up.”  Then you’ll have more specifics that you can use EFT on.

Or you may never remember, but get massive relief anyway. For one client, the troubling incident never revealed itself. But she could suddenly remember all the GOOD things that happened during that school year. Before we tapped, she couldn’t remember fifth grade at all.

Here’s wishing you the best on clearing out those foggy incidents. Let us know how this technique works for you by posting a comment below.

And if you’d like some experienced help with your EFT, contact me at 520-327-1695 and we’ll discuss clearing those issues together.

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Do you find yourself having problems sticking with what you’re doing? Is it hard to just keep at it until you get the task done? It happens to everyone sooner or later, and to some of us a lot! If this is a problem that’s messing with your peace of mind, try using EFT to help yourself.

First Things First

Before you get started, it’s really important to let go of blame and anger about it. That means blaming yourself, blaming circumstances, and blaming other people. If that seems like a huge deal, then just set the blame aside for the time being. You can always come back to it!

The reason you need to do this first is that this blame can anchor the problem. It can prevent the easy release of your concern with EFT. So that’s the first step.

Find Your Tapping Focus

Next, just ask yourself what’s happening here so you have a direction for your tapping. See if your problem with sticking to it fits with one of these:

• feeling fuzzy and unfocused
• feeling distracted
• feeling bored or aggravated
• feeling anxious

Use EFT To Help Yourself

Now you’ve got a starting point for your tapping. Acknowledge and accept your situation in the setup. Then affirm a new direction for yourself so you can move on. Of course, if there is a large issue that needs attention, you should use regular EFT to release that first.

But often, it can just take a few minutes of positive tapping to get you on the right road. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

Feeling Distracted

Even though I’m feeling distracted, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though my mind keeps wandering, I forgive myself and know it can be different.
Even though distraction has kept me from sticking with this, I’m ready for a new direction.

Feeling Fuzzy And Unfocused

Even though I’ve felt unfocused and can’t keep at this, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I can’t stay clear enough to stick with this project, I know I’m doing the best I can.
Even though my mind’s been fuzzy, I’m willing to let the fog fall away.

Feeling Bored/Aggravated

Even though I feel too bored/aggravated to stick with this, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I wish this boring/aggravating thing would just finish itself, I respect my feelings.
Even though I’d rather do anything else, I want to allow myself to complete this quickly.

Feeling Anxious

Even though I’m feeling anxious and too uncomfortable to stick with this, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I don’t like feeling anxious, so it’s taking a long time to finish this, I respect myself and know I’m doing the best I can.
Even though I’m not sure I can do this, I love myself anyway.

Affirm New Possibilities

Try a combination of some of these affirmations to get you moving in the right direction. If you feel yourself wandering off track, take a breathing break and tap in a few more.

• It feels great to be focused.
• I’m looking forward to finishing this in record time.
• I’m open to forming a new habit.
• I can picture this project completed. That feels so good.
• I trust my inner resources to work on my behalf.
• Circumstances are conspiring in my favor.
• I am calm, confident and courageous, and it’s really paying off.
• I’m glowing with pride at my accomplishment.
• I’m setting a new record for myself. I’m getting through this in no time!
• I’m grateful for my skills and abilities that make this possible.
• I amaze myself with my willingness to persevere!

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Leave a comment below and let us know how this works for you.

If follow-through is a big problem for you, you may need outside help to get to the heart of it. To explore options to work with Janet on your issues, call 520-327-1695 or contact me here.

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Did you know that you can use EFT to help your pets? It’s very effective and fast and can bring great relief to your animals AND your checkbook.

Essential: First Calm Yourself

Unless it’s such an emergency that there’s no time to do this, take a minute to use EFT on yourself first. Clear (or at least reduce) your issues about your pet’s problem. These might include:

• Worry or anxiety about your pet’s injury or condition
• Anger at a person or circumstance contributing to the problem
• Guilt that you contributed to it or didn’t notice it sooner
• Doubt that tapping can help

In my experience, if you’re too upset, that negative energy can block the success of EFT healing for your pet.

NOTE: If there’s no time to do EFT on yourself, at least take a deep breath and visualize setting your own concerns on a shelf until later. It works!

If Your Pet Lets You Tap

Some animals have no resistance to your tapping on them. If that’s the case, do it! Some people tap on points equivalent to our own points. That’s not always possible, however. Most pets respond to gentle tapping up and down their spine, so you can try that. The top of the head is another place that’s generally easy to get to and is effective.

When You Can’t Tap On Them

There are reasons why it won’t work to tap on your pet. For example:

• You can’t dive into the fish tank.
• Your pet is too upset (or stuck in a tree).
• You’re already at the vet and can’t physically tap on your pet.

Now What?

Now you can tap on yourself on behalf of your pet. It’s called surrogate tapping or proxy tapping. You just pretend you’re the animal and tap on yourself, saying what the animal might say.

Here’s a sample of how I helped my cat who was hiding in a corner with a large cactus thorn in his mouth, and a piece of cactus stuck to his inner thigh. I skipped the setup.
Then I just tapped around the points on my own face and body, saying:

This really hurts and I don’t know what’s going on. Mom loves me and she’s helping me now. I can trust Mom to help me. I’m feeling calm now and my breathing is slowing down. It’s safe for me to let Mom help me. I know she loves me. I can feel all the love right now. It’s OK for me to let Mom come close [he can be very stand-offish}. I can relax now and let Mom help me. It’s OK for Mom to tap on my head. It will feel really good to let Mom tap on my back.

He calmed down and let me remove the cactus without resisting — amazing for his personality! And he allowed me to tap a little bit up and down his spine. Then he walked away, breathing much more slowly than before and appearing normal.

I went back to tapping on myself as if I were him, saying:
I ask my body to heal itself quickly. I don’t need any reaction, so I let go of any swelling. I ask my body to easily let go of any thorns that might be left. I feel like my old self, and I’m ready to enjoy life again. I love being tapped on and I love Mom to help me if I’m hurt. I’ll remember this next time I get myself into trouble.

Who knows? Maybe he will!

Other Animal Examples

Some other ways I’ve used it are:

• To help a cat heal from a coyote bite wound on his leg
• To calm an old dog who freaks out when her owner leaves the house
• To clear some unknown obstruction in the throat of a coughing cat
• To calm a lizard down so I could catch it to put it outside
• To get a yellow jacket to leave our picnic table!

Animal EFT Experts

There are tapping practitioners that specialize in working with animals, who go far beyond these simple guidelines. You can easily find them online through Google or at emofree.com.

In the meantime, this is a great way to help your pets when they’re in trouble — and to enjoy your picnics more. Just trust yourself, knowing you have the animal’s best interest at heart. Say whatever comes to mind. Give it a try and let us know how it goes by posting a comment below.

To read about surrogate tapping for other people, check out Tapping For Others – What’s The Deal?

With EFT, it’s totally possible to stay sharp and stay cool simultaneously. Is this hard for you to believe? If so, you’re surely not alone. Many people are concerned that they’ll lose their edge if they tap away tension.

What’s Your Version?

This misconception shows up over and over again in several ways. Maybe one of these has a ring of familiarity:

• If I release this tension, I’ll lose my competitive drive.
• If I let go of this tension, my dancing/singing/acting performance will be flat.
• If I don’t have this tension, I’ll lose my motivation to work/sell/whatever.
• I need this tension to make my speaking presentation really lively.

The Real Truth

Tension is constrictive and driven by anxiety or fear at some level. It’s separate from performance energy. Many people believe that losing the tension means losing that good energy, so they hang onto both. This myth is reinforced by teachers in the performing arts, athletic coaches, speech coaches, sales trainers…the list goes on. They just have never experienced anything else.

If you’re in that group of believers, I hope you’ll consider another possibility. With tapping it’s completely possible to release the constricting impact of the fear while maintaining that energetic charge of positive performing or motivational energy.

How You Do It

You can easily split your tapping up into three parts:

1. Tap away your concern or limiting belief that you’ll lose your edge if you release your fears.
2. Tap away your fears regarding the performance or event or speech or sale.
3. Tap in affirmations to strengthen your positive energy – that performance electricity that other people connect with.

Powerful Combination

Calm + performance energy = powerful magnetism. Once you’ve tapped away tension resulting from fears and anxiety, you’re left with a foundational state of calm. There’s no energy drain for you from the adrenaline of fear charging around your body.

The excitement energy that propels you forward in any type of performance is pure and strong. People just gravitate towards it. And your energy is strengthened because it’s all coming from a positive center.

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Resentment and hurt and love are often tangled up together. So when you tap on an issue with these ingredients, you might struggle. Sometimes it’s a challenge to release old pain and anger. Examining the love connection can bring the solution.

The Irony Of It All

When you love someone, their actions and words have a bigger impact on you. So it’s easier to feel hurt or angry with a loved one than with someone you don’t care about. Right? It’s much simpler to just blow off a difficult interaction with a person who doesn’t mean much to you.

But when your heart is connected to someone, hurt and anger can result more often. And they can hang around longer, too. That’s why you’re tapping on them – because you’re still carrying them around. So it’s a little ironic that the people you care about the most can contribute heavily to your list of tapping issues.

Hard To Release

Over and over again, clients show resistance to letting go of old issues with loved ones. It can be a spouse, a kid, a parent, a sibling, a close friend – the kind of love doesn’t matter. Let me be clear – the resistance is not a conscious thing. You can be eager to let go of an old grudge. You can be excited at the prospect of healing some old wound. And STILL have a hard time releasing it.

It’s The Love

Love is the reason for the hidden resistance. A fear of losing that love, or losing your connection to someone can slow EFT down. Some part of you can be afraid that to let the problem go is to let your whole connection go. And you’re not about to do that!

Even if it’s always been a rocky relationship. Even if your brother was always mean to you. Even if a parent was abusive to you. Your heart doesn’t want to lose the core love you have for them, underneath all the negative junk. So your mind-body-energy system can say, “Forget about releasing anything. I don’t want to take a chance. I’m not gonna rock this boat.”

What To Do

It’s so easy to address this when you’re tapping. Just acknowledge it in your setup phrase. For example:

• Even though I’m afraid to let go of this anger because I don’t want to lose my love for Bob, I love and accept myself anyway.
• Even though I’m concerned that if I release this pain, I’ll lose my connection with my mom, and it’s a shaky connection to begin with…..
• Even though it feels risky to let go of this old grudge, I want to trust myself to hold onto the good parts of our relationship.

Secret Tapping Weapon

Just assume there’s some resistance like this lurking in any old issue with a loved one. Make it a habit. Build in a setup phrase like one of the above examples– right from the beginning of your session. It can save you a lot of tapping time and frustration.

Try this yourself and report back to us on how it goes. Just leave a comment below.

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